Creative Work: The Sound of My Feet… and My Doubt

That lonely sound of feet on pavement. When the cheers of the starting line have faded, and the only sound is the sound of your own breath. Your own thoughts. Now is when the real work begins; and it separates the runners from the racers.

The Idea

When the idea comes, it's like starting the race. Your idea is still new, and you're still fresh. Every small move feels like a leap forward... because you just started.

There's also not much at stake, yet. It's just an idea. Something to be developed, and explored. If it leads nowhere, no biggie. You just go get another idea. Okay, maybe it's not that easy, but...

The Development

There's still low risk here. You haven't spent a lot of time developing the idea yet, and it can still take on all kinds of shapes. It's fun, and low risk. Anything is still possible; even walking away.

The Work

This is where it starts getting tough. Now it's just you and the work that needs to be done to make this idea a reality. It can be meditative and unnerving. Unbelievably stressful and incomprehensibly fulfilling. Some days, you put on some music, and start digging out the steps. Concentrating on the work. This is why you wanted to do this. Why are you so stressed?

Because in those quiet moments running the race, your mind can wander. The sound of your feet on the pavement can begin to drum out a string of doubts, and insecurities. Thoughts that maybe your story isn't good enough. It won't resonate. It's just like a hundred other stories no one cares about.

When it's something you've always done just for fun, it can get worse. The pressure of a deadline can also make you think, "Wait, do I just suck at this grown-up discipline thing??"

That continuous slog of work and doubt can really fuck with your head. It can make you abandon your dreams, and run for cover.

So, what am I gonna do?

I'm reminded of a quote from the movie With Honors. Joe Pesci's character says, to Brendan Frazier's over-achieving character, “Winners forget they’re in a race, they just love to run. You try too hard.”

So when the cheers at the start have faded, and there's nothing left but the road in front of me; I just have to listen to my feet on the pavement. Make a rhythm of it. Write a song with it. Sing it while I knock this next task out. Then the next.

That's the plan anyway. :D